Dressy Buffalo?

Ok, I had a really nice Valentines. We went to a stake dance and I found out that it was dressy so I went over to Ross and found this dress for $12! I don't think the pictures do it justice, I got lots of compliments and felt very pretty. Gordon suggested we take the children to dinner and he had a gift certificate to Red Robin that his office gave him for his birthday so we had fun and then left the kids with a sitter and headed to the church. We are making some good friends and had a fun time with them. I love to dance with Gordon and it was very romantic. It was a great Valentines day and I loved it. I am putting pictures of the dress on for my sister-in-laws to see. While we were out with the kids we went to the store for a new webkinz for Josh and Gordon bought me a buffalo webkinz for valentines and I love it. (for a long time I thought that buffalo were extinct so it is kind of a running joke with me) Anyway, I have been very down lately so it was nice to have a good day.

Which Direction Should I Go?

I wonder sometimes where I am going. God must be moving me because every time I try and go somewhere the way is blocked. I have been trying to breed the dogs, something I love and that will bring in income and there is one obstacle after another. Maryland's heat is over, we missed it. We had her with a perfectly good male and he wouldn't take her. The chances of that are like one in a million. Now we have 2 males lined up for Megan and neither one seems to be working out. If I am "lucky" I will get to take her 110 miles each way and hope it works out. I keep thinking that it will not work out. That is my norm now. Also I found a way to sell the Arizona house but that doesn't seem to be working out either. I thought we could raffle it off. Pay the mortgage and the rest goes to charity but that is not working either. I can't find a charity to help and now they are saying that the charity would have to buy the house and couldn't pay more than market value for it anyway so we would still be in the hole. I am tired of working and trying to get ahead and it doesn't seem to work out. I don't want to be rich I just want security. Nothing is secure in my life. Every time Gordon looks tired I panic, I spend every day waiting for the other shoe to fall with Joshua. I don't know how we are going to ever get out from under that house. Gordon and I had been thinking if we could sell that house we could sell this one and afford to get a house with some land and settle down. Get some more dogs, make a niche for ourselves. There are no other breeders here and I could really make something successful out of it. I just don't see that happening right now. If we put the money into adding a room onto this house we will be here for a while. I get depressed. Gordon has a job he loves, the kids have friends and church and they are doing well. But I don't have anything for myself. I have lots for the kids and don't get me wrong, I am sooo grateful that things are going well for them but I need success for me too. I don't scrapebook anymore, I don't have time or budget for it. I don't do candles or beads or any of the things that I loved or made into a hobby/business. I need to figure out what I am supposed to be doing. I know what my job is for the family but I want to know what I should be doing for me. I don't know if that sounds right, I may not be saying it right.

Testing, Testing, 123 (ABC)

I had the most fun last night! I gave each of the children a placement test in math to see where they are and what I need to get started and it was a comedy skit! Ted did great but you could see that it was a boy taking the test. I put 8 pennies in a line and asked him to make a row just like it. He asked if he could do it his way and I told him to do what he thought was right and he put 8 pennies in a triangle. When I asked him if that was the same as mine he admitted it wasn't and fixed it but I could tell he liked his triangle better. Miriam was very advanced but hesitant. I can see that she doesn't trust herself as much as she should. Dorothy was great! I showed her a penny, a nickel, and a dime and asked what the penny was. She said penny, then I asked about the nickel and she said (without skiping a beat) a coin. Hard to mess with that logic. Then I put 6 pennies, 2 nickels and 4 dimes in a pile and asked her to sort them. She put the dimes in a pile, the nickels in a pile and 4 of the pennies in one pile and the other 2 in another. I thought she put the pennies to match the other 2 coins piles but when I asked why she divided up the pennies she looked at me like I was slow and informed me that the 2 of them were not shiny. By now Gordon was on the floor laughing and poor Dorothy was looking very confused. I quickly told her dad was reading something funny and praised her good thinking. Then I finished up with Rachel. I put 8 pennies in a row and asked her to make one just like it. She did very well but got a little off track at the end and used 9 pennies. I had her count my row and then hers and she agreed they were not the same. I then told her to fix it and she promptly put another penny in my row. Obviously hers was not the problem. I can see that I have my work cut out for me. I have kids that are very smart but have different styles of learning and for the most part have well developed egos. laugh, laugh, laugh
I can't tell you how good it felt to see the excitement on their faces as we worked together. It boosted my ego this morning when Teddy asked me if we could take another test today. Miriam chimed right in and said she wanted to do it again too. After breakfast Dorothy and Rachel used the coins and shapes and other supplies to "test" each other.
Unfortunately all is not well. Rachel has the sniffles and apparently was sneaking sips of my sprite because now I am sick. Also, Dorothy is sniffling so we are a mess. Oh, well, its not so bad. I have too much good stuff to worry about the rest of it.