Lists and Resolutions

Ok, it is New Years Eve so that means it is time for some lists......

The Worst Things About 2008

1. Finding Out Josh has Cancer
2. Moving Again
3. Hurricane Ike

The Best Things about 2008

1. Josh surviving his brain surgery
2. Our great new ward and friends here in Pearland
3. Hurricane Ike -- with the help of our cousin Robert
we can fix the house better than it was.


It seems that the worst is also the best. I think if we look hard enough we would find that is usually true. Every hard trial has a blessing, something we need. This year I needed to let go of the "control" I had in my life. I thought I was handling everthing just right. I know now that my children were Heavenly Father's first and he knows what is best for them. My ideas of the perfect home were not right, there was somewhere else I needed to be. It hasn't happened yet, but I am sure that when the repairs and additions are done, I will be glad for the changes to my home and we will be comfortable here. I have definately learned that things I valued before just don't matter. I am humbled by the great gifts I have been given this year so I will end this post with 2 lists, Things I am thankful for and Things to do! May God bless you and all of us as we start this new year and work to make 2009 better than 2008.

Things I am Thankful For:

1. My testimony
2. My husband
3. My Children
4. My sister-in-laws
5. The rest of my family
6. My ward
7. My Callings
8. My new friends
9. Having a safe van to drive
10. Having a nice house (many people here live in trailers, we are lucky)
11. Having Robert and Kim close by
12. My laptop, I always feel connected now
13. MD Anderson, I know this is where Josh is supposed to be
14. The Spirit - so many times I am not sure why but I know
something is true ( see #13)
15. Josh's Wii (I will explain this later)
16. The Priesthood - I feel so safe with Gordon leading the way
17. Health Insurance - it starts January 1
18. Gordon's great job - he will be gone alot more but it is worth
it to see him happy and succeeding
19. Good neighbors
20. Friends that have been left behind but never forgotten,
these are people I can still count on an lean on.

Well that list could go on forever but that is the top 20! It made me feel good to write it and humble too. I hope the next list will be as easy and fun and maybe food for thought.

Resolutions

1. Get healthy - let me expound on that:
Lose some weight (I am not saying how much)
See a doctor about several things I have been ignoring
since I did not have health insurance.
Use Josh's Wii fit to exercise regularly ( I really like it)
2. Refocus on our children
I have been going through the motions while Josh has been
in treatment and need to do better.
3. Stop swearing ( it is really bad and Gordon hates it)
4. Stop WHINING
5. Pray more



Let me say a few more things about this list and then I will declare this done and you bored to tears. I have long neglected my health and see the price I am paying. This will stop this year. I am going to have a hystorectomy (yes I know I can't spell). I do not want to say I am dieting because I am not going to, I do plan to change the eating habits that get me into trouble. No more eating at night, smaller portions, healthier choices. If I do that much and exercise the weight will come off. I will say now however, I am not ready to give up sprite, so do not ask!
I am working on bringing the children home for school. I never thought that I would be a "homeschool" mom but I can not shake the feeling that I am supposed to do this. (we are back to that spirit thing) It is very scary but I will do anything for my kids so here goes. I am not sure when I will start it, they may finish this year and start in the fall. It depends on how fast I can get the materials to get going. I just can't ignore Teddy, I feel so strongly that he is at risk at school and could be led to do something he doesn't understand and will never get over. Also, I have talked to so many parents of children like Josh and they never seem to fit in at school again and it hurts their self esteem beyond repair. Even though Josh is smart, he will not be able to keep up with his classmates, physically or in class. Being able to teach at his pace will be great and the activities I can put him in will still give him friends and acceptance. There is a big homeschool community here and they tend to be more accepting of difference. As for the girls, they are so smart I can't wait to teach them things they would never learn in school.
See what I mean, everything just pushes me in this direction. Also while #3 and 4 are self explainatory I would like to say something about #5. I tend to go to the Lord in prayer when I am in need or have to. I need to work on just talking to him more and not always asking for stuff. I want to be a better listener when he talks. I tell him when I should let him tell me.

I am grateful for my Heavenly Father. Why he is so good to a rotten daughter like me is beyond my understanding. I hope that this year finds me closer to him and a better wife and mother and sister because of it. I pray the same to everyone who reads this.