A Great Vacation

I am not sure where to start. We went on vacation to Gordon's Uncle's Ranch (boy that is a mouthful) and I guess I could start this blog with "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times". It was a great trip and we really had a great time. However, it was a typical event for us and full of drama! First, I packed and got us out the door alone because Gordon was busy doing taxes. Then we traveled 2 hard days ride and arrived at the ranch late in the afternoon on the 2nd day. I had not slept in about 4 days and was exhausted. When I got there I made a triple batch of funeral potatoes. Then we ate and played cards till bed time. When I finally got to bed I had a panic attack. I have had a small one before but never this big. I was up all night and could not stop shaking. I kept thinking that I just wanted to go home. I think I was just so overwelmed by suddenly being out of our home and seeing people that are so important to us. They seemed so ordinary, there was hope and dreams and future plans for them. Everybody talked so casually about things. Our lives have not been like that for so long. We live every day waiting for the other shoe to drop. The only hope and dreams we have are just to get through the day. I guess when you are in the middle of it you don't realize how isolated you become and to suddenly be in the middle of "normal" is hard. Anyway, the reason I am sharing this is, in the morning when my wonderful sister-in-laws got up - instead of feeling bad they made me feel great. I didn't feel embarassed to tell them about it and after I did I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I don't miss Arizona but I sure miss them. I didn't feel different anymore I just felt peaceful. That afternoon I slept 5 hours and felt great when I got up. It was great to be with such special sisters and all the family. We had a great time and even the long drive home wasn't bad. (Ted threw up in the night in the hotel and the second day was rough, driving as fast a we could to get him home to rest.) Sometimes I am sad, I don't think there will ever be a normal for us but I just have to remember that I have been blessed with special sisters and I can't help but smile. (funny - writing that makes me cry) Anyway, Gordon has huge bruises from a fall from the horse and he is sore but secretly I think proud that he can still take it.( men are weird) The kids loved it and Luggable Lou got us through. That counts as a great vacation.